First of all…a WARNING. It can be both dangerous to start psychiatric drugs and dangerous to stop them.I do not support the use of these medications for reasons that are detailed below. This family had no idea the harm the side effects could cause prior to our tragedy.I have since learned that the truth is hard to come by but it's very real especially when it happens to you. Ask yourself always if taking that pill is the "best option" for dealing with the situation that is leading you to consider THAT option.The side effects are often not discussed and trusted doctors are distributing these drugs like candy.The odds of our tragedy are rare but when it happens to you…it is a tragedy beyond belief and since it happened to us…it can happen to you. Medication withdrawal should be done gradually with the support of friends and family and with experienced clinical supervision hopefully one who is not drug company influenced.
Today is Friday 7/23/2010…It's been 4 ½ years since that day that dramatically changed our lives as we knew them as a happy family of 7.We were taking responsible action for our health care needs. And for that responsibility, we alone were left to understand the realities and go on with the trauma and devastation of "medication induced psychosis." We have been asked to endure a greater injustice of prison and punishment adding layers of mistreatment to an already offended family.
Read this website's blog's entry for the Holidays of 2009 for the longer version of where I am today.My name in Kim Crespi and I have been David's wife for 16 years.When Jessica and Dylan were 5 and 1, their first mother, David's first wife, died of a brain tumor. I married David (my only husband) the next year and adopted Jessica and Dylan. I am the natural mother of Joshua, and our twin daughters, Tessara and Samantha.We are from Northern California but came to North Carolina in July of 2001 for David's internal audit job and the opportunities with Wachovia Bank in Charlotte.
On January 20, 2006, David Crespi killed our 5-year-old twin daughters.He called 911, was arrested and has been incarcerated in jail, prison and the Department of Corrections since that day.It was a devastating day without a clear picture of what had propelled David to act in such an uncharacteristic way.This family's position from the start has been that prescribed medication had to have been the main cause of this devastating tragedy.7 days of Prozac, prescribed by a psychiatrist, and a cocktail of other medications (3 weeks of Ambien and Trazadone and Lunesta the night before) had to have caused the complete change in David's behavior.David had never been violent in the past and this was definitely a violent act.The change in medication was asserted immediately to the legal counsel assigned.Still, why David had done what he had done was not being discussed.All efforts were focused on how to save David's life from a death penalty trial in North Carolina.
What about the truth? What about David's care?These questions were not pursued. The only recommendation that we were told was to accept a plea to avoid a death penalty trial. David, incarcerated, was medicated on a cocktail of now different medication (Lithium, Risperdal and Lexapro). We trusted the lawyers.For that trust, we have been living in prison and have had to decipher along the way and in a traumatized state of being what happened to us on that tragic day and in the days since.
Family and friends continue to seek the truth and support David to this day.Within 5 months of the tragedy, in a drugged, numb and dumb state and based on the encouragement of his lawyers, David plead to first degree murder to avoid a death penalty trial to save the family the additional trauma of a possible death sentence. He was wrongly told that his family would not survive a death penalty trial. David was given back to back life sentences.Criminal justice was the umbrella that has handled this situation since the time of the arrest.The umbrella of Mental Health has not been a factor in David's treatment since the day of the tragedy even though he had been further medicated.He has now successfully withdrawal from all medications.
Since that tragic day, much as come out in the media and in books that details the greed aspect of the drug companies marketing to promote these drugs that carry devastating side effects and may have no more than a placebo effect on the impaired mental health state.And yet, psychiatric drugs are prescribed like candy and patients are left to monitor the side effects on their own with family and friends.David remains in prison without active legal aid.North Carolina continues to hold him exclusively liable.This is wrong.We continue to seek justice but the early plea did the truth no favors.
Psychosis was the state that David was in when he did the unbelievable act. There was no mention of psychosis during any of the therapy sessions that David and I participated in along the way.I learned of psychosis during the hearing in July of 2006.The state of Psychosis is unpredictable and it can be dangerous.It certainly was for David and this family.Signs of psychosis are delusions and hallucinations.Upon reflection, David was delusional in therapy the day before the tragedy.His therapist did not note this to me or David and sent us on our way with new sleep medication (replacing the Ambien with Lunesta) for that night. I believe David was hallucinating the night before the tragedy but I didn't know what I was seeing in his behavior.He was seeing people in a public setting that I did not see.
He was told by the mental health professionals that any thoughts to hurt his self or others were part of the depression and could not be acted upon.He was too nice to do harm.What we now know is that when your mind is taken by the drugs, your body and your spirit are left to abide.Free Will is taken.It's after a statement like that where I stop and ask myself where God was in that darkness.I do not believe that God caused this tragedy.I do believe, however, that God allowed it as free will was impaired.I have to believe it was allowed for a higher good beyond the sadness of our losses.This family lives with that hope.
The psychiatrist and the therapist were not questioned by the lawyers nor have they said one word to this family.No legal action has been taken against them as the reality we have dealt with is that the community protects their (supposed) care givers and the patients are left to their own.Buyer Beware in accepting their misguided treatment and in some cases… their lies.David's psychiatrist no longer practices in North Carolina and was found by People Magazine to be working in a women's prison in California.
David was medicated in prison, initially, as a Bipolar person after the drug induced psychosis.He was never diagnosed as Bipolar prior to the tragedy nor was this aspect of DSM labeling discussed.We do not accept that labeling as we have experienced firsthand the subjective nature of that evaluation especially in our case when medication propelled the psychosis.
The initial reason David sought help by doctors in each of the 5 reported episodes was for anxiety for work related stress caused by corporate corruption unveiled during his work as an internal auditor. His symptoms each time were an inability to sleep well and experiencing general anxiety. The general practitioners each time began the regiment of drug treatment all too common of an anti anxiety pill, a sleep aid and then when you spiral each time into depression (a side effect of the sleep aid) …an anti depressant.David's treatment plan plays out for many others in our society daily.The drug company propaganda continues and corporate greed over whelms the truth.
But the truth is coming out and there has been a steady flow of it since our tragedy.
I truly am trying to be brief but anyone who hears me gets at least this much of the story even if we have just stepped off an elevator.The horror and continued lack of adequate information happening everyday to others must be addressed.
We participated in major media very early in our understanding.I do not regret this because those moments helped us understand the situation we find ourselves in.Still, the presentations lack our understanding of what is truth.I need to clarify this and can direct you to publications that helped me understand.
A portion of our time line will show you the events that mapped the journey to truth.
1/20/2006 Tragedy
7/29/2006 David's pleas and is sentenced to life in prison
9/2006 Oprah Interviews are done…it seems like sensationalism is sought with very little mention of the drugs
10/2006 Oprah Show airs…It doesn't feel right and the truth isn't told. We grieve, adjust to prison (if that's even possible) and try to go on
9/2007 20/20 interviews are done, David has withdrawal from the anti psychotic and is withdrawing from the Lexapro
10/2007 We start to understand a little bit of the misconception when I connect with Ann Blake Tracy, PhD and read her book "Prozac: Panacea or Pandora? Updated in 2001
3/31/2008 People Magazine runs an article and we note the medication's influence
Spring/2008 David's Thyroid and Kidneys are becoming impaired from the Lithium (mood stabilizer) .We consider withdrawal and he begins the tapering. I read that it takes 6 months to 2 years for the effects of withdrawal to be gone.Withdrawal is hard on David and the effects and energy is seen by all.David withdraws without any violence but wakes up in prison.
6/2008 20/20 airs noting David as Bipolar which we no longer believe
6/2008 Dr. Timothy Scott's book "America Fooled" published in 2006 is read and Dr. Scott responds to Kim's email and advises that we should be reading Dr. Peter Breggin's work
8/2008 Dr. Peter Breggin's book "Medication Madness" published in 7/2008 is read.It speaks of many other tragedies where drug induced psychosis results in unbelievable, uncharacteristic acts based on Dr. Breggin's role as a medical expert in criminal cases.I begin the book…it starts with "Nothing like this book has ever before been written." My stomach hurts, I throw it across the room because someone knows what I have known all along…then, I read on because the truth is liberating. I thank God for Dr. Breggin's work and then I find the advocates who seem to know.
Early 2009 Alison Bass's "Side Effects" published in 2008 and is read.Per Arnold S. Relman,MD, Professor Emeritus, Harvard Medical School "A richly detailed account of the disgraceful self-serving ties between drug companies and the Psychiatric profession."It's more truth coming to light.We could not have imagined this prior to 1/20/2006.
2010 Robert Whitaker's "Anatomy of an Epidemic" is published and read. This Award winning Science and History writer investigates the medical mystery.Why has the number of disabled mentally ill in the US tripled over the past two decades? More truth comes to light…every day!
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